One Foot In A Hot Pile Of Shit

I missed 4 underbaskets straight in a row last training, despite rebounding them. Still the point was missing 4 of them in one straight row... Coach would have been very pissed with me, and i guess that would send my playing time plunging down, not to mention that i don't have alot of it. I'm tired, not physically but mentally tired, i guess i worry too much, there are these sec 1s, well my coach puts lots of emphasis on them, both of them can beat me to a place in the team. Making the team means the world to me, i'm not some ultra mega chika bong bong pro basketballer, with that fact in mind i always feel insecure. Muscleman mentioned that i care more about what my coach thinks than about my play, I guess i agree with that, its difficult not to think about what coach thinks. I always think about what others think of me, quite an insecure guy... Not what i want, but i am trying to change it. Well, I'm working very hard on improving my skills, hope my hard work pays off. Supposed to play basketball with some of muscleman's friend, but was cancelled... now i have a whole boring morning where i have no mood to do my work. Got a stupid advert shoot from 7pm on sunday to 7am on monday, i have no idea how i am gonna go to school, i would be DEAD beat, and i would still have training. From my experience one ruined day in my week, ruins my whole week, i guess the rest of the week would be an ardous one. I still have a match supposedly on wednesday against Nan Chiau, i should play, unless something really crops up, i guess those 2 sec 1s would get more play time than me? Not really shocked if that happens, but all i hope for is maybe 2 quarters of play? Too much, hmm i don't know i just want that much. I'm just going to give it my best, and learn as much as i can from it i hope.